#107 - 'Don't do as I do...do as I say!'

22 Apr 26

There’s a subtle shift that can happen as leaders become more senior. With experience comes confidence and with authority comes influence. Sometimes, with both, comes a quiet belief:

'The rules no longer apply to me in quite the same way.'

It rarely starts as arrogance. More often, it shows up as 'contextual interpretation,' 'operational necessity,' or 'leadership discretion.'

But the impact is the same.

The moment a leader places themselves above the rules, a two-tier system begins to form; one for leadership, and one for everyone else.

And once that happens, the credibility of the whole system starts to erode.

What?

At its core, this is about consistency and integrity.

Most organisations operate with a set of rules, policies, and governance frameworks designed to ensure fairness, safety and accountability. When leaders adhere to those standards, they reinforce them. When they bypass them, they weaken them.

This behaviour can take many forms:

• Ignoring processes that others are expected to follow,
• Applying 'flexibility' to their own decisions but rigidity to others,
• Using position or influence to override governance,
• Justifying exceptions without transparency,
• Expecting compliance while modelling something different.

It’s often subtle at first. A small exception here, perhaps a justified shortcut there.

But over time, patterns emerge and people notice.

Why?

The damage caused by this behaviour runs deeper than most leaders realise.

• It creates a two-tier system - When people see leaders operating under a different set of rules, trust begins to fracture. The unspoken message becomes: 'There’s one standard for them, and another for us.' That perception alone is enough to undermine morale and engagement.

• It encourages workarounds and patronage - If rules can be bent at the top, others will start looking for ways to do the same. Some will attempt to bypass the system directly. Others will seek proximity to power hoping for exemptions through relationships rather than merit. This shifts the culture from one of fairness to one of access.
• It destroys moral authority - Leaders rely on credibility to enforce standards. But once people see inconsistency, the message changes from: 'Follow the rules because they matter' to 'Follow the rules unless you’re important enough not to.' At that point, 'Don’t do as I do, do as I say' becomes the norm and that is a very difficult position to recover from.

How?

Avoiding this trap requires discipline, self-awareness, and a willingness to be held to account.

• Hold yourself to a higher standard not a lower one - Leadership should increase accountability, not reduce it. If anything, senior leaders should be more visible in their adherence to rules, not less because people don’t just listen to what leaders say they watch what they do.

• Make exceptions transparent and justified - There will always be situations where flexibility is required. The difference is how it’s handled. Always explain the rational, make the decision visible and ensure it aligns with organisational values. Always avoid informal or hidden exemptions. Transparency turns exceptions into leadership decisions rather than personal privileges.

• Invite challenge, not compliance - Create an environment where people feel able to question decisions even at senior levels. This might feel uncomfortable, but it acts as a safeguard against blind spots. If no one ever challenges you, it’s not a sign you’re always right. It’s a sign people may have stopped speaking up.

• Regularly sense-check your own behaviour - Do this by asking if the decision would be acceptable if it was made by someone else? Are you applying the same standard across the board? How would this look if it were visible to the whole organisation? These questions act as a simple but effective filter.

In Summary

Leadership does not grant immunity from rules. It increases the responsibility to uphold them.

The moment leaders start to believe they operate above the system, the system itself begins to weaken and a two-tier culture emerges. Trust erodes, workarounds replace standards and credibility quietly slips away.

'Do as I say, not as I do' is not just inconsistent it’s corrosive.

The most effective leaders understand a simple principle:

Rules don’t exist to constrain leadership, they exist to protect the integrity of it.

And the higher you go, the more visible, and important that integrity becomes.

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